Type in two usernames — real, made-up, your ex, doesn't matter, nothing is fetched or looked up. Tweetdown runs them through six randomly drawn categories, from Best Cat Joke to Reply-Guy Stamina, and crowns a champion. Same two names always produce the same showdown, so it's safe to send the receipts.
Both usernames get combined into a seed, so the same pair of names always draws the same six categories, the same winners, and the same lines — reroll by trying different names, not by refreshing. Whoever wins the most categories takes the showdown; a dead-even split goes to a sudden-death round. Nothing here reads a real account, a real tweet, or a real ratio — it's six made-up categories and a coin flip with good writing.